Sunday 19/12/10

Holy crap, it’s that time of year again. I’ve mellowed on religion so Christmas doesn’t piss me off as much as it did a year or two back, but that was probably just a reflection on my mood at the time. If I believed in god I wouldn’t have been so grumpy, I’m sure. I’ve not really noticed Christmas this year, despite being roped into the office secret Santa against my will, and I’m mainly grateful for some time to chill out at home, watching TV and playing game after game of Fifa. It’s also time for end of year reflection.

Stuff I experienced this year:

- I got into Seinfeld after far too long. It really is as funny as anything. Given it’s one of those shows that’s referred to by basically every comedy show at some point I probably should’ve made the effort before but I think I was overwhelmed by the 200-odd episodes to see. I’m currently half way through and really enjoying it. Plenty more on the to-see list for next year including Larry Sanders, Cheers and the American version of The Office. Anything to stop me seeing repeats of Peep Show and the Simpsons over and over again.

- I finally saw Butch Walker, Cheap Trick and Barenaked Ladies live, all for the first time. After seeing Less Than Jake for the 13th time and Green Day for the 8th time it was nice to see some shows that were new to me. Barenaked Ladies were pretty good, but miss something since one of their lead singers left. Cheap Trick were a pleasant (and expensive) surprise since I don’t really know much apart from the greatest hits, but they really were fantastic. I’ve been waiting to see Butch Walker since 05 or 06 and it was worth the wait because he and his band were marvellous. It may have been the smallest gig I’ve been to, with maybe a couple of hundred people there, which helped create an intimacy between band and audience you don’t get when you see Green Day at Wembley. Well worth the wait.

- Butch Walker also released my favourite new album of the year. There weren’t many though. Now I’m over 21 I have completely closed my ears to new music and have resolved to not listen to anything I’m not familiar with ever again. It worked for my parents, who listen to nothing but Steely Dan, Genesis and Elton John as they did in 1985. I intend to do the same, but with music with marginally more credibility (apart from McFly, of course).

- I saw one film at the cinema this year, my first since the Simpsons Movie in 2007. It was Four Lions and wasn’t bad at all. Not good enough to make me visit the cinema more than once every 3 years but enjoyable enough.

And, of course, I moved out this year.

If I had known better when I was twelve, I never would have started playing The Sims. The similarities of my current life and the computer generated people I controlled are so annoyingly close I think I wasted my time in getting them to wake up, have breakfast, go to work, have dinner and go to bed every day. It would only be a short (frighteningly short, in fact) ten years until I would have the honour of performing those tasks for real. The only differences between myself and my Sims are that I cannot cook myself anything that doesn’t contain either pasta or rice, I routinely piss in the sink and my Sims did not get post addressed to previous occupants. And I could turn the PC off when I got bored.

Sunday 12/12/10

I’ve been housesitting for the last couple of weeks, which would be an odd job were I not looking after the place I moved out of 12 weeks ago. My folks have now returned so there’s no use going round there to break in while I’m at work because you will be caught. Not that you’d want to take anything given the state I left it in.

You’re generally supposed to, when looking after something for friends or family, keep everything in order and as nice as when you came across it. It’s just common courtesy. I failed spectacularly. Between the cat litter tray and the dishwasher, anything that required the part of my brain responsible for chores was left incomplete. If cats were so domesticated they would clean their own shit out.

I did take even more liberties on my own part by emptying the cupboards of anything edible. Living on your own (and without the buffer of a student loan or maintenance grant to keep the cheese toasties coming out of the grill, fucking leeching students) makes you realise how much can be spent on things like food and orange squash.

So I slobbed about for a couple of weeks, watched all the things I’d set to record on the Sky Plus box before I moved out and then left again. It was the least exciting all-inclusive holiday I’ve ever been on.

I’ve not been hugely busy for the last couple of months. I moved into my new flat in September and that’s been the sole concern of mine. Logistically, it’s very dull and has taken ages to get my head around utilities and whatnot, with lots of bills to pay for things I’d never considered before (Council tax? Surely Wycombe should be paying me to live here, not vice versa?).

Also, the commute from Wycombe to Maidenhead is such a terrible journey compared to the dozy trip from Flackwell every morning . I’m used to and can now, after much practice, cope with anger and tension at the Emirates Stadium each Saturday afternoon. I’m not used to those emotions while driving up Marlow Hill at 8am. How people can work themselves up into such a frenzy at that time of day leaves me genuinely confused. To my right and left, in front and behind me there are cunts undertaking, flashing their headlights or making obscene gestures as I merrily plod along in my 1.2 litre hatchback.

How people manage to be consistently late for work baffles me. Everyone knows, after a few years of school and work, how long it takes them to get ready in the morning. If you’re too much of a dense cunt to fit that around the time you must start work then you must be eliminated. It’s harsh, but if it means I can keep my pulse rate below 60 in the morning then so be it.